Learning to step back...

     I know I am a helicopter mom. I know Vince is getting older and needs to experience things without me. Next fall, it is our goal to have him attend pre school. In order to make this transitition easier (for me) I have been thinking I have to leave him places without family members.
    I have thought long about this. I don't worry he will get hurt; I worry he will miss me so much, shut down and be so difficult for the person watching him. I imagine him inconsolable and traumatized. Pretty funny, huh? I think my son loves me so much he cannot function without me. Ha!
   So I have recently started Jazzercise. PERFECT! Something for me and they offer childcare in the adjacent room. Last week I got up the courage to drop Vince off in the playroom while I got my dance on. It was perfect because he was the only child. I braced myself for a long tearful good-bye. I said, "Alright Vince I am going to go now!" Not even looking up from what he was doing he said "Yeah, momma go dance." Afterwards, he was chatting everyone up and his caregiver raved about him. Not the nightmare situtation I had envisioned afterall!
    Intial visit was easy. However, I knew once other short people were thrown in the mix it was going to be a bit different. Today was really busy, lots of kids. I knew I just had to run out. When I went to go get him after jazzercising, I couldn't help but want to cry. His eyes were red and he was doing that suck in quick breath thing that happens when you cry hard. Apparently he was all good but there were a few other criers that set him off. I realized that if he saw me cry we would get into a nasty pattern. I had to tell him, "Yo, be cool little man. I am here and will always come back for you." He was pretty quick to calm down.
     He then was able to do a kids movement, jazzercise fun class. He went on the floor by himself, listened and followed directions so well! He was coming out of his shell more than I have ever seen in front of all these people he didn't know! It was great to see him out having fun and growing as an individual. It is confirmation I am doing the right thing.

Pee Pee in the potty

   From the moment Vince began walking, the judging began. "Is he potty trained?" , "Does he have a little toilet?", "Has he gone in the toilet yet?"   Why are people in such a hurry to push kids to potty train? Do diapers really cost THAT much?
     Thinking of the early toilet trained days makes my heart palpitate.  Forever gone will be the days of long roadtrips with minimal rest stops. The thought of figuring out how to use a public restroom with that tiny tush is enough to throw me into a full on panic attack, not to mention the germs!
   Onward to another disgusting deed as a parent, cleaning up the accidents. I keep trying to compare it to cloth diapering, which was not as bad as everyone thought it would be. Then I remember, a newborn makes different 'messes' than a toddler. I am already predicting a few innocent casualities. Buzz Lightyear may be better off in the garbage.
   I am not ready to give up my Pampers stock yet but using the toilet is something I am slowly introducing to Vince. Last night he actually peed in the toilet! After hearing him say "Proud of you-me!" makes me want to put aside my own difficulties and push the issue a bit more. Stay tuned...

Dear Vince- the reason.

Vince, you are just over 2 years old now. For a long time I wanted to start a 'baby book', e-mail account, SOMETHING to record this time in your life. I kept putting it off because I didn't start it right away, or it had to be just perfect. Enough of that though. Things happen everyday that I want to remember always and share with you someday. So this is for you my little buddy. "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago.... the 2nd best time is today"